50 Shades of Callused Clitorises

Since when is it acceptable to read fifty shades of grey, no less in PUBLIC? This morning I was sitting next to a girl, who could not have been older than 22, deeply engrossed. When I glanced over at the page "Christian" was licking the ear of some boring, housewife stock character. The reading comprehension level of that book is near 6th grade, and there is probably a high chance that the American public will begin including it in their syllabi for senior English class.

But more so than being sad because she thinks that this is actual literature worth consuming and isn't embarrassed enough to do it in some dark hole miles into the earth, I am ANGRY. There are two types of people that read that book: people that read it to live vicariously through some poorly written, "sexually liberated" characters written by a sad, Twilight fan fiction writing middle-aged woman and those who read the books to see what the fuck all of the hype is about. This girl from the train was definitely the former and because of that she has planted all sorts of awful thoughts in my brain about how she doesn't mind everyone knowing the exact erect status of her clitoris. Then again, I guess that's kind of the point of that book anyway. Sexual freedom, ahoy! 

Lady, go out into the world and actually get your weird on. Very far from me.

Love and hugs,
J